By Maya Fuller
for Gay and Lesbian Studies
Often, when bisexuality is discussed, we are talking about more than just bisexuality. It is discussed more in comparison than it is alone; bisexuality is compared to and lumped in with hetero- and homosexuality in almost every conversation about sexual orientation and infrequently allowed to be its own, separate entity. Though there are obvious connections between all of these topics, bisexuality is more than just half-hetero, half-homo, bisexual people have their own issues and benefits that are unique to them. The list includes stigmas, media representation, coming out, and mental health. The other members of the LGBT community have issues with all of these as well—it unfortunately comes with being a minority. For the purpose of this research paper, I will be discussing specifically bisexual issues and how mental health, stigmas, and representation in the media affects the bisexual community as a whole.
Bisexuality is unique in that it is sometimes used as a “transitive” sexuality; people who
later come out as gay will come out as bisexual first, maybe to bridge the gap or to make it easier on those around them. In a study performed by Nicholas A. Guittar of University of South Carolina Lancaster, more than 10 out of the 30 participants came out as bisexual before later coming out as gay or otherwise (Guittar 172). Though there are at least five million people who identify as bisexual in the United States alone, the use of bisexuality as a transitive identity and the widespread idea that this is all it can ever be discredits them. While a “transitive” sexuality is a valid part of discovering who you are and does not mean that bisexual people are not real, this has become a starting point for already-skeptic gay and straight people alike. People tend to believe bisexual people who come out significantly less than those who come out as homosexual. Terms like “gay until graduation” come to mind: women who experiment with other women are normal in college, as long as they ultimately know that they will end up with a man (Johnson 385). This can have harmful, real life effects on bisexual and gay women in college. In fact, bisexuality in general has been skewed to the point where it is all about men: when a woman identifies as bisexual, she’s normally seen as the previously mentioned “gay until graduation” or is simply doing it for male attention.
“There is a pervasive myth that college-age bisexual women are only bisexual for the duration of college and once they graduate they return to heterosexuality. This notion, however, has not been supported by longitudinal research. Instead, researchers have found that rather than representing a transitional period, very few women who identified as bisexual changed their identity to either straight or lesbian 10 years later” (Wandrey 205).
Not only are relationships involving two women already seen as less valid without the idea that eventually one of them is going to realize that they want to be with a man, but that idea can also be confusing for the bisexual women in those relationships. A bisexual woman who has heard what people say about people like her might start to think it’s true: did she make it up just to please a man? Is she doing this for attention?
On the opposite side, men who identify as bisexual are normally viewed as secretly gay. This might have started during the AIDS crisis. Bisexual men in the 80s were often blamed for the spread of AIDS to women, and therefore straight men, because they were seen as the “bridge” between men and women (Friedman M., et al). It also might be a result of misogyny and toxic masculinity being brought into play: being sexually or romantically attracted to men is seen as such a feminine attribute that it can be hard to understand how a man who is attracted to men can ever be “manly” enough to want to be with a woman. Women don’t have this problem as often because their attraction towards women has always been, although not taken seriously, seriously sexualized. Women are allowed to be attracted to other women because men like watching women being attracted to other women. But when it comes time to understand women’s feelings for each other and know that it is valid, men can fall flat. The idea that a woman could be attracted to another woman for her own pleasure seems foreign and incorrect to them because they’ve learned that it should only happen to pleasure them (Johnson 384).
There’s another party to blame for this one—the porn industry. Bisexuality is the tip of the iceberg of problems there. Porn is infamously made by men, for men, and when you search “threesome” on PornHub, this is made blatantly obvious. Porn is one of the hundreds of ways we interact with media today. There’s only so much you can do with porn, because at the end of the day, it is just filming people having sex. However, on PornHub, one of the most successful porn websites, “bisexual” seems to be synonymous with “threesome” in most situations, and “threesome” seems to be synonymous with “two women banding together to give one man the best night ever.” Hardly ever are women seen, in a threesome porn, having sex with each other. The women are normally only there to give pleasure to the man, almost as if they don’t even want to experience pleasure themselves. It is all about the man the entire time. Of course there are exceptions to every rule—you can definitely find porn that isn’t like this, but that isn’t saying much when it is the majority.
All the stigmas around bisexuals stem from a lack of understanding what bisexual means. Promiscuity is another stigma surrounding bisexuals. An assumption is often made based on the idea that if they can be attracted to everyone, then everyone must be a threat. They must want to have sex with everyone, since they can be attracted to them, right? Bisexuals are more likely to experience jealousy from their partners because of this, and bisexuals in monogamous relationships already struggle with their bisexuality without that added layer. When a bisexual person is in a relationship with a man or a woman, it often brings up questions: How important is this part of my identity to me? How do I portray to people that I’m bisexual? Does it matter if I’m bisexual or not? Am I bisexual? When people see a man and a woman in a relationship walking around, they’re normally not even thinking about who the people are attracted to. If they see a man and man or woman and woman walking together, they assume they’re both gay. For bisexuals, it can be difficult to decide what the problem is here or if there even is a problem. Why does it matter? They’re not straight or gay, so people who assume either are wrong, but because both people are cis-passing, they still assume.
This brings up another point for bisexuals—coming out. Many bisexual people, women in general, wonder if coming out as bisexual is even worth it because of all the negative
connotations surrounding it. One woman who partook in a study conducted by the psychology department at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee decided to start identifying as pansexual because of this reason:
“Like, I used to identify—or I used to say I was bisexual, but my thing is, I don’t like to say I’m bisexual. Because I just realized that people had these horrid connotations with the word ‘bisexual.’ Once you say you’re bisexual, suddenly you become the slutty girl who makes out with everyone at the bar. Suddenly you become the barsexual, suddenly you become, you know, this person who just needs good dick or whatever. Suddenly you’re dirty to women that you like. That’s why I say pansexual” (Wandrey, Rachael L., et al, 211).
The “disclosure stress” surrounding coming out can lead to depressive symptoms among bisexual youth. Depression has long been a problem among the LGB community, with extensive research proving that most gay, lesbian, and bisexual people have higher rates of depression than heterosexual people. Further than that, bisexuals have even higher rates of depression than their gay and lesbian counterparts (Pollitt, Amanda M., et al 1278). This further proves the point that bisexuality is more than just a stepping stone or a half-straight, half-gay issue - the effects of being bisexual can prove to be very different from the effects of being gay. Disclosure is a scary process for any part of the LGBT community, and the stress is caused by fear of rejection and uncertainty about how who you disclose to will react. The depression among bisexual youths is caused by more than just coming out as well; the invisibility that occurs within a monogamous relationship, lack of media representation, and the constant oversexualization of their identity are all significant factors in their mental health (Pollitt, Amanda M., et al 1279). “Bisexual women [are] 5.9 times as likely as heterosexual women and 3.5 times as likely as lesbians to experience suicidality, whereas bisexual men [are] 6.3 times as likely as heterosexual men and 4.1 times as likely as gay men to experience suicidality” (Johnson 380). And although bisexual people are at a clearly higher risk than other parts of the community, they are the least likely to reach out for help. Bisexual people are about three times less likely than their gay and lesbian counterparts to disclose their sexuality to their healthcare provider. This is caused by the fear of their doctors’ reaction, and possibly already having a bad experience in the past: bisexual people have reported that their doctors have told them that bisexual is a transition stage, that they will “eventually have to choose gay or straight,” or even considering bisexuality a symptom or cause of the mental issues when the initial visit had nothing to do with their sexual orientation (Johnson 380).
A large contributor to the mental health of bisexual people is the overwhelming
over-sexualization of bi women in the media and the next-to-nothing existence of bi men on camera. This is also a reason for all of the stigmas; people believe what they see on TV, and TV is normally telling us that bi people are promiscuous. Bisexual characters on TV are normally formed around their sexuality, rather than their sexuality be just a part of them.
Even in a show notorious for its inclusivity and representation, Glee has only one bisexual character: Brittany S. Pierce. As far as bisexual characters go, Brittany is not the worst written. Her personality isn’t all about her being bisexual, and she is allowed to have other interests. However, one of Brittany’s personality traits throughout the majority of the show is promiscuity. It’s a running joke throughout the beginning seasons that Brittany will sleep with literally anybody. This is not a problem in general, as promiscuity is not inherently bad and it is not necessarily related to her being bisexual. However, for there to only be one bisexual character on the show, and she’s portraying one of the top stereotypes about her community? It is definitely less than ideal and can skew ideas about bisexuals, especially in such a wide-spread television program. And although she’s the only bisexual character, she’s not the only character with a bisexual plotline: in season two, episode fourteen (“Blame It On The Alcohol”), Blaine Anderson, a gay character, considers his sexuality for a moment after kissing a girl named Rachel at a party while under the influence. He expresses this to his friend (and much later,
husband) Kurt, who is angry that Blaine is even thinking about it. He goes as far as to deny the existence of bisexuality at all. In the end, Blaine kissed Rachel while sober and learns that he is gay after all—and with that, the plot point is written away as “just a phase,” which is also unhelpful.
Another show very familiar with biphobia is Chicago-favorite Shameless. The mom on the show, Monica, is bisexual, but she is written as a crazy person. Her bisexuality, while valid, is seen as a side effect of her all-over-the-place lifestyle. One of their gay characters, Ian, has a brief relationship with a firefighter. He learns he is bisexual halfway through, and Ian is livid about it. He goes as far to say he didn’t sign up to be with a “fucking bisexual.” He says it like an insult or a dirty word. They give Ian reason to be mad, too: not only does Ian deny bisexuality totally, the reason it’s even brought up is because his boyfriend, Caleb, slept with his ex-girlfriend but didn’t consider it cheating, because she was a woman. This is yet another instance of lazy writing and resorting to stereotypes about bisexuals being promiscuous. I wanted to root for Caleb in this episode, because Ian was being so horrible about bisexuality, but the writers of the show couldn’t even let Ian be completely in the wrong here. If a third-party person who was not bisexual was watching that episode, they could probably assume this is how bisexual people are. Because watching this episode, Ian is in the right. He was cheated on, and the bisexual character has some obviously questionable morals. And, if you were a young bisexual person watching this episode, it would leave a bad taste in your mouth. Shameless is a very popular show—over a million viewers every week when it’s on the air, and that’s not counting the binge watchers who will see it on Netflix months later. Not only are they teaching gay and straight people about bisexuals, they’re teaching uninformed bisexual people about themselves. And if you don’t know anything about bisexual people besides the fact that you are one (and you might not even know that yet), and then the only people you see on TV are promiscuous crazy people who think it’s okay to cheat on their partner, you’re going to start to feel bad about yourself.
The term “bisexual” has been used since around 1815, but many of us are still struggling
to understand the full scope of the word (“Bisexual”). Many bisexual people are still coming to terms with who and what they are, and the people around them are probably not making it easier. Whether it’s stigmas about sexual promiscuity or bisexuality as a phase, the higher rates of mental health issues, or the lack of well rounded bisexual characters, bisexual people can have a lot on their plate. I thought I’d end this with a couple of examples of good representations of bisexual people on TV and in the media right now: Eleanor, from NBC’s The Good Place, mentions her attraction to both men and women and flirts with both men and women on screen. It is never a plot line; it is simply a part of her. Rosa Diaz, from NBC’s (formerly Fox’s) Brooklyn 99 has a whole episode where her colleague helps her tell her parents she is bisexual, and she even says the words “I’m bi” on television, which is a big step. This plotline was largely influenced by Stephanie Beatriz, who portrays Rosa. As a bisexual person herself, she felt the need to include it, even the stressful coming out scene with her parents:
“There were a lot of lines we put in when Rosa came out to her parents that were things I really wanted to stress. Like the phrase, ‘Bisexuality’s not really a thing.’ ‘You’ll grow out of it.’ ‘It’s just a phase.’ ‘Well, you can still marry men, so there’s still a chance.’ Which is really fucking exhausting. Get ready for that conversation for the rest of your life, right? ...There were multiple rewrites, but the main thing for me was that the character said ‘bisexual’ and that she said it so many times. She names her sexuality, versus many bisexual characters that you see in television in the past that have just happened to date men and women, and they’re just fluid and sexy, and sometimes they’re a fucking villain” (Jung).
Beatriz goes on to mention how that made her feel as a bisexual adolescent—like she was never going to have a chance to be completely happy.
Luckily, we are slowly starting to get more and more representation on TV and hopefully
soon we will have representation in other aspects of the media as well. We’re still lacking on the bisexual men part, but as a bisexual woman myself, I can say that seeing characters like Eleanor and Rosa have definitely made me more comfortable with who I am and who I want to be. At least it’s comforting to know that there are at least a couple of people behind the scenes who understand and respect bisexuality as a legitimate, separate sexuality.
Works Cited
“Bisexual.” Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com, www.dictionary.com/browse/bisexual.
“Blame It On The Alcohol.” Glee, season 2, episode 14, Fox, 20 Feb. 2011.
Friedman, M., et al. “Stability of Bisexual Behavior and Extent of Viral Bridging Behavior
Among Men Who Have Sex with Men and Women.” Archives of Sexual Behavior, vol.
46, no. 4, May 2017, pp. 903–912. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1007/s10508-016-0863-7.
Flanders, Corey Elizabeth, and Elaine Hatfield. “Social Perception of Bisexuality.” Psychology & Sexuality, vol. 5, no. 3, July 2014, pp. 232–246. EBSCOhost,
doi:10.1080/19419899.2012.749505.
Glee. Fox.
Guittar, Nicholas A. “The Queer Apologetic: Explaining the Use of Bisexuality as a Transitional Identity.” Journal of Bisexuality, vol. 13, no. 2, Apr. 2013, pp. 166–190. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/15299716.2013.781975.
Johnson, Hannah J. “Bisexuality, Mental Health, and Media Representation.” Journal of
Bisexuality, vol. 16, no. 3, July 2016, pp. 378–396. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/15299716.2016.1168335.
Jung, E. Alex. “Stephanie Beatriz's Bisexual Awakening, Onscreen and Off.” Vulture, Vulture, 21 May 2018, www.vulture.com/2018/05/stephanie-beatriz-bisexual-awakening-on-screen-and-off.html.
Hartman-Linck, Julie E. “Keeping Bisexuality Alive: Maintaining Bisexual Visibility in
Monogamous Relationships.” Journal of Bisexuality, vol. 14, no. 2, Apr. 2014, pp.
177–193. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/15299716.2014.903220.
Pollitt, Amanda M., et al. “Disclosure Stress, Social Support, and Depressive Symptoms Among Cisgender Bisexual Youth.” Journal of Marriage & Family, vol. 79, no. 5, Oct. 2017,
pp. 1278–1294. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1111/jomf.12418.
Persson, Tonje J., and James G. Pfaus. “Bisexuality and Mental Health: Future Research
Directions.” Journal of Bisexuality, vol. 15, no. 1, Jan. 2015, pp. 82–98. EBSCOhost,
doi:10.1080/15299716.2014.994694.
Wandrey, Rachael L., et al. “Coming out to Family and Friends as Bisexually Identified Young Adult Women: A Discussion of Homophobia, Biphobia, and Heteronormativity.”
Journal of Bisexuality, vol. 15, no. 2, Apr. 2015, pp. 204–229. EBSCOhost,
doi:10.1080/15299716.2015.1018657.